Hard Day!

The day begun very slow after awaking from a dream that i do not remember.
The stress that has begun for me and my beautiful wife, cause of the difficult times that we are going trough, is producing a very bad humor in myself. This is disturbing the nature in our nest. I had already live such situations in the past, i did sometimes the life of my mother and father very difficult because of this natural human behaviour, also this could cost me one past marriage. But is not exclusive from me! every one of us must to deal with disturbing moments, this ones may drive to think about the illusion of the present life, so much, that then a man is trying to repair what is already done. To think about it do not give the solutions, in my case is giving more confusion while my life is passing away in front of my eyes. That's why to attempt to write a diary, that's why to put myself to descrive a day, to remember. So to write do not put me out from thinking, but i must to arrange my mind in order to rewired and to make the next better.
10:00 two hours practicing Matteo Carcassi with the electric guitar.
13:00 What's for lunch? Rice with chicken in sauce! and then, no longer after we begun to eat, Elena woke up as usual from siesta... crying, with bad humor, making big theater, disturbing what we are doing at the moment, eating. We must to deal with this babe energy every day, more and less at 01:00 am - 06:00 am - 14:00 pm and 20 or 21:00 pm, it depends. This is constant and one may reason for us for explain why we feel so loaded in the psycho at the moment. A child that after wake up is doing literally the hell, can charge so deep the ambient that you dont know how to react to this correctly. Sometimes we react good, sometimes we are mediating with this, in others the hell is much bigger because of the chilean father. Well today we mediate with this situation but it was close to the big chilean hell. To support each other on this, is becoming very important.
17:00 My first time with the Zen association Berlin with an introduction of a very simpatico member of it, he did for me and to the other new interested party, a woman that was in Japan and practice Zen for a day, a very clear introduction of the rules and behaviour in the dojo. After the introduction we came into the Dojo with more and less 30 other members and make Zazen from 18:00 to 19:15.
To come to this Zen association and practice Zazen with them today, it took me long time for dealing with it. The leader of the association is the Master L. Tenryû Tenbreul.
21:00 Back in zu Hause.
22:00 Lesen & Schlafen